I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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