At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's never too late to be topless.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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