i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Floor bacon is actually really good
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
