I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
