I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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