I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just want to make out with him forever
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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