We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
