You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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