She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We have so much sex to catch up on
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
