It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
