hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
