What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
