i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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