Need sex. Gaining weight.
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
