"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Blood and glitter go together right?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
