Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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