There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
