Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
