What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
