I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
