her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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