yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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