I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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