I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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