i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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