dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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