Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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