Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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