erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Congratulations! We have a period
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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