Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
