the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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