i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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