New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
