Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
