i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
