yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
