Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
