she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
