He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
