Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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