Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
