Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
