rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
