Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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