apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
