You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
