I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
