yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
