This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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