so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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