the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
