Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
