even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
