Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
