you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
