you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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